1, to use the child can understand the language
Communication with children should be a two-way interactive process, if you speak words, the child can not understand, then communication is not effective. Some parents will often wishful thinking chatter, do not consider whether the child is interested in listening, can understand what they say, over time, the child has learned to parents’ words turned a deaf ear. This is because the parents did not pay attention to the child can understand the language of communication.
2, to use the child willing to accept the language
When communicating with your child, pay attention to the language, for example, when you ask your child not to play outside after school, to go home on time, you should say: “After school you do not go home on time, mom will worry!” In this way the child will feel the parents’ concern and be more likely to accept their advice. If you say, “You are not allowed to play outside after school, come home immediately!” The child will feel that you are restricting him, and will inevitably produce rebellious feelings.
3, to use the child’s favorite way of communication
In the process of communication with the child, not only to consider the child can understand, and it is best to use the child’s favorite way of communication. A persistent use of didactic, command, forced and other ways to let the child to listen to you, the child is bound to produce resentment. Children like the way can be chatting, parents in the process of chatting to educate the reasoning into; can be storytelling, through storytelling, so that the child from the story to understand the reasoning, which is much better than simple sermons; can be in the process of communication in the game, because the child is in a more excited state, it is easier to accept the parents’ education.
4, pay attention to the child’s reaction and attitude
Modern parents, due to their busy schedules, are often in a hurry to express their opinions and instructions when talking to their children, expecting their children to behave according to their own words and preferably not to have any opinions. Therefore, they often do not carefully listen to the child’s words, and the child feels that it is difficult to communicate with his parents, and the generation gap is bound to get deeper and deeper. So parents and children talk to the patience is very important, not only to listen to the child’s story, but also to understand the child’s expressed will.
5, pay attention to the child’s non-verbal response
When communicating with your child, parents should not talk to themselves, but must pay attention to the child’s reaction, especially the child’s non-verbal reaction. For example, the child began to appear left and right, attention is not focused, parents should stop communication or change the topic.
This nonverbal response is even more important for young children, many of whom are not yet able to reject their parents verbally, but only subconsciously show it through their actions. If parents do not understand this, over time, the child will develop the habit of “parents say parents, I do my”, so the parents in front of the child’s prestige will be lost.
6, pay attention to experience the child’s feelings
If the child is wronged outside, or separated from a good friend or a favorite pet, the child’s delicate little heart will be sad for half a day. At this time it is very much in need of parental care, but if parents just keep telling him “it’s okay, be strong”, “it’s nothing to be sad about” and so on, this will make the child feel that parents can not appreciate his feelings.
If parents change their words, for example, “You’re sad, aren’t you? I would feel the same way if I were you.” I’m sure the child will behave differently when he hears such words.
7, timely understanding of the child’s level of development
Parents should know how much a child understands. If parents say things that the child cannot understand, or make demands that the child cannot meet, it not only makes the child feel hard and pressurized, but it also makes the child feel that the child is not able to understand what the child is saying. This not only makes the child feel hard, high pressure, parent-child dialog is bound to be difficult to get on the line, it is easy to form a miscommunication between the two sides of the generation gap.
8, pay attention to the way to answer
When a child asks a question, you should first understand its true meaning and answer it to the child’s needs. For example, the child asked: “Mom, do you want to go shopping?” The real meaning of the question is, “Mom, I want to go grocery shopping with you.” If you know what your child is really up to, you can say, “Yes! Do you want to go with me?” The child will be very happy to hear this, because this is exactly what the child wants at that time.
9. Avoid using a negative tone of voice
The so-called negative such as parents do not use “I order you ……”, “I warn you ……”, “You’d better hurry ……”, ‘You are limited to five seconds ……’, “I’ll count to one, two, three …… or else ……”, ”You should… …”, ‘You’re so stupid’, ‘Hello Ring’, ‘You disappoint me so much’, “No ……” and so on with command, order, warning, threat, blame, abuse, rejection and other negative meaning of the tone of voice. And said more, the child is more indifferent to the attitude, so parents say similar words again will not have any meaning, but also let the child feel disgusted.
10, often change the fresh topic
Often change the fresh topic will cause the child’s interest, for example: “Guess what happened to me today?”, “Do you know why children are so busy? “Do you know why children like dinosaurs the most?” If one day the astronauts really don’t come to earth ……” and so on, I believe it will be better than ”How are you doing today?” “Are you happy?” are more appealing to children. Therefore, sometimes some verbose words rather play a better effect, just to be used properly.
11, enrich the child’s life experience
Parents and children talk to the subject matter, most of them are from life, so it is very important to cultivate a child a keen, curious heart. Parents can lead the child to observe a variety of things around them, such as flowers, grass and trees, the road car color, shape, brand, street pedestrians dressed, talking content, department store windows, etc., can become the material for the conversation, the child’s powers of observation will naturally improve. Of course, parents are the first teachers of children, so parental guidance is very important to children.
