Modern society, every family has fewer children, so every child is taken care of as a baby, and everything helps the child to do well, and over time the child becomes more and more dependent on his parents, and can not do anything about it, but… Parents can’t take care of their children for the rest of their lives, and you’re actually doing him a disservice by spoiling him like this! A mom is about to share his own parenting tips with you.
When my son Hang Hang put on his backpack, his parents took on more responsibilities. It seems that the parents raised him until he was 7 years old and waited for the day when he would go to school. My heart is lighter, but of course, I am busier than ever. I have to wake him up in the morning, help him organize his bag, read with him in the evening, check his homework, and help him with his homework. Busy for him like a headless fly, but the child does not appreciate the parents of the “hard”, still I do what I do, the results did not have much improvement, but they are exhausted, the child’s achievements and their own pay can not be proportional. If you ask what the reason is, I think it still lies in the parents themselves.
Because the parents are too hardworking, but instead of cultivating his laziness, because too much attention to his homework, but he has become irresponsible and self-conscious, learning goals are not clear, that reading is for the adults to read, and dependence on adults. This continues, it is difficult to develop good learning and living habits, and good habits such as is the key to ensure excellent grades, is to develop a sound, independent personality guarantee.
Watching so many parents for the “little prince”, “little princess” who bow and scrape, but I do the opposite. Diligence and laziness are contradictory and mutually reinforcing. When adults are hardworking, children will be lazy; when adults are lazy, children will be hardworking. Don’t believe me? Come and see what I do:
1, lazy transportation: let the child walk to school!
I know a lot of children are parents to and from school, but I never transport, although his father in the child just started school sent him a few times, but because the son from home to school up to one kilometer away, as long as the road across a road, the road to and from the vehicle is not much. After talking to him about traffic safety, I asked him to walk to school by himself.
One night, he didn’t go to bed according to the time, and the next day he woke up late and asked me to send him by bike. I deliberately said that I would be late for work and couldn’t afford to send him. He was so angry that he stomped his feet while jogging to school and was punished for being late by sweeping the floor. I knew he was afraid of being punished by the teacher, so the only way to make him late was to let him learn a lesson and change his late sleeping habit. Sure enough, from then on, when bedtime came, he went to bed on time, and he was able to make sure he got up early the next day! If he had been sent to school that time, it might have been difficult for him to develop such a good routine.
Idea: Let your child walk to school, not only can exercise, but also to develop a good habit of not relying on others.
2. Lazy chaperone: Let your child complete his homework independently!
I only remind my son when it’s time to do his homework and report to me when he’s done. When it comes to checking homework, I always tell him to check it himself, and I’m only responsible for signing it. He was very upset and said, “Other people’s moms help check, why are you so lazy?” I reasoned with him, “It’s not that mommy is lazy. Think about it, if I check it for you, will you still check it? If you make a mistake in the exam, who can check for you? Usually a small mistake, a big mistake on the test ah.” And told him that learning is his own business, encountered can not do the topic I told him to use his own brain, really can not do it and then tell him where to look up the data.
Once, he saw a vocabulary words do not know what it means, he in order to save trouble, he came directly to ask me, I told him to look up their own dictionary, in order to complete the homework, he had to look up one stroke by one stroke. Later, I thought about the reason why he didn’t like to look up words in the dictionary. It turned out that he wasn’t skillful enough in the dictionary method of radicals, and it often took a lot of time to look up a word, and if he had to look up more words, not to mention the children, even the adults would find it boring. So I thought of a way, and he played the dictionary competition, listed the words, see who check fast, I deliberately lost to him, won his interest. After playing a few times, the speed of dictionary searching has greatly improved, and he no longer thinks that searching the dictionary is troublesome. Now, he even takes the initiative to help his classmates look up the dictionary.
Ideas: in counseling children’s learning, do not be too diligent to guide, but to learn to find out what children can do and help independent thinking and can let go of, which is his ability to reach and need help.
3, lazy nagging: parents should do more and say less to foster self-awareness!
Some parents to urge their children to study, day and night nagging endlessly. Do not know, repeat the words of the child to listen to more will be annoyed, but he no longer take this as a matter of fact. On the weekend, he played games for a long time and did not do his homework. I asked, “How long are you going to play?” He looked at the clock and said, “Just ten more minutes.” “Good, keep your word.” Ten minutes passed, I came back to see that he was still playing, I held back my anger and said calmly, “Don’t you usually say that words count?” Hearing these words, he smiled in embarrassment and immediately turned off the computer.
Prior to this, because I had instilled in him the concept of being a man of honor, he was able to happily accept it this time. Imagine, if I come to a fire, a nagging: “Do not play, do not hurry to do homework to go, so playing on, how will the results be good? The future can not get into the university ……” I am afraid that he will also be convinced of the heart not convinced. In the future, he played the game, I want him to set his own time, the time is up, you must immediately turn off the machine.
At first, he also want me to supervise, and then I secretly observe, found that he has self-conscious, time to stop playing. It is said that playing games is not good, but as long as the control is good, you can turn the unfavorable into favorable, from which he learned to control himself, restrain the desire to cultivate control, endurance, willpower and so on. And these are the important quality of learning.
Idea: Diligent education is not necessarily effective, depending on what aspects of diligence. If you are diligent in nagging, talking about reason, but the effect is not good; if you are diligent in finding ways and countermeasures, and can be effectively implemented is worth learning.
4, lazy hands – cultivate the independence of the child to do things!
As long as my son’s ability to do things, I do not help. Like when his room is messy, I remind him that it’s time to tidy up, and I’m just happy to watch him organize it from the sidelines.
My son often has to go home to prepare all kinds of materials for his classes, so I tell him to prepare them himself; I give him money to buy what he wants to buy so that he can go buy it by himself in order to practice his ability to talk with others; I take him to the field to collect specimens and watch him do it.
Just started school, the teacher asked to help the new book bag on the book cover, he will not pack, I asked him to learn how to pack with me. After the first book cover was wrapped (of course it was very clumsy), I let go and asked him to wrap it himself. He was too troublesome, showing impatient expression, I ignore him, just focus on the side of the “gestures” to guide the child, see I insisted on “mouth not hands”, he had to be patient package. If I finish wrapping these book covers for him in order to save time, he will never be able to wrap a second, better book cover.
Idea: If you are too diligent to help your child, or even do everything for him, your child will become dependent and passive, and you will not be able to cultivate a sense of responsibility.
Because of all my “lazy”, contributed to the child’s good learning and living habits. Learning, to change the carelessness, drop the problem, encounter difficulties, can think independently, take the initiative to seek solutions; life, strong independence, everything can take care of themselves. Visible, parents should let go of the time to let go, the time to be ruthless, the lazy time to lazy, the worry, concern silently in the heart. Move away from the care of the wings, let him fly on his own, only in this way, the young bird can develop a pair of strong wings, in order to form a good learning habits and the ability to live independently.
